Index  Comments and Contributions  previous:6. the mathematician, the physicist and the engineer (and others)
mathematics physics biology
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
Three men with degrees in mathematics, physics and biology are locked up in dark rooms for research reasons. A week later the researchers open the a door, the biologist steps out and reports: `Well, I sat around until I started to get bored, then I searched the room and found a tin which I smashed on the floor. There was food in it which I ate when I got hungry. That's it.' Then they free the man with the degree in physics and he says: `I walked along the walls to get an image of the room's geometry, then I searched it. There was a metal cylinder at five feet into the room and two feet left of the door. It felt like a tin and I threw it at the left wall at the right angle and velocity for it to crack open.' Finally, the researchers open the third door and hear a faint voice out of the darkness: `Let C be an open can.'
mathematics physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: "Softsheep" <ns1052#NoSpam.fen.baynet.de> (Blame JV for translation from german) Take a mathematician, a physicist and a theologian and locks each of them in his own room with a can of spinach, but withouth a can opener. After a week one opens the doors. What has happened: With the theologian: Bumps in the can, scratches on the wall, everywhere spinach. => He threw the can so long against the wall till it broke  He survived. With the physicist: On the wall are calculations and in a corner a small scratch with spinach. => He calculated the force and the angel needed to open the can.  He survived. With the mathematician: Dead! On the wall a text: "I define: The can is open." From: stolze#NoSpam.minet.unijena.de (Knut) Which proves you cannot eat from open cans. From: (Curd Reinert) Which proves before all, that both theologians and physicists can live form one can of spinach and need no water. The mathematician, as a more demanding lifeform understood immediately, that an open can spinach would not reach for a week and made a last joke.
mathematics physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: Florian Them़ (Blame Joachim for translation from german) The mathematician's version of the story: A mathematician and a physicist are in a room an try to open a can of beans. The physicist calculates the exact angle to throw the can against the wall, that is necessary to open it. He throws, the can hits the wall, it bumps back to the physicist and throws him against the floor. When he is standing again, he sees the mathematician eating the beans. He asks: "How did you do that?" The mathematician: "O, I just defined the can open."
mathematics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: Eike Michaelis <eike#NoSpam.nef.wh.unidortmund.de> And yet another variation: The room with the topologist mathematician, who was locked in the room with the closed can is found empty, with the can still closed. Suddenly something knocks in the can. The can is opened, the mathematician comes out with the word: "Shit, sign error."
mathematics physics engineering
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
There was a mad scientist ( a mad ...social... scientist ) who kidnapped three colleagues, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician, and locked each of them in seperate cells with plenty of canned food and water but no can opener. A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer's cell and found it long empty. The engineer had constructed a can opener from pocket trash, used aluminum shavings and dried sugar to make an explosive, and escaped. The physicist had worked out the angle necessary to knock the lids off the tin cans by throwing them against the wall. She was developing a good pitching arm and a new quantum theory. The mathematician had stacked the unopened cans into a surprising solution to the kissing problem; his desiccated corpse was propped calmly against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor in blood: Theorem: If I can't open these cans, I'll die. Proof: assume the opposite...
mathematics physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: ui2b#NoSpam.rzstud2.rz.unikarlsruhe.de (Ernst Schnell) A philosopher, a physicist and a mathematician are scheduled to prove their surviving abilities. Therefore they are to be incarcerated in different cells with each having a closed can of corned beef and no opener. First goes the philosopher. After a time of two weeks, the cell is opened and the philosopher found dead, the can still closed. He must have died thinking about a way to open it. Second goes the physicist. Two weeks later he is found with the whole wall filled with formulas, munching happily on his corned beef. Last goes the Mathematician. Two weeks later the door is opened. The can is still there, untouched but the mathematician has disappeared. Suddenly the Jailor hears a knocking from inside the can. After he has got an opener, he discovers the mathematician sitting inside, scratching his beard and mumbling, "There must have been something wrong with the prefix."
mathematics physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: Tigger Facebook <tiggerfacebook#NoSpam.yahoo.co.uk>
next:6.2 fire  Index  Comments and Contributions
Member of the Science Humor Net Ring
[
Previous 5 Sites

Previous

Next

Next 5 Sites
]
[
Random Site

List Sites
]