3. CHEMISTRY

Subsections

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Index | Comments and Contributions | previous:2.21 the buttered bread on cat problem


chemistry
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From: Paul Armitage <peba#NoSpam.totalise.co.uk>
... and here's a nice phrase my old chemistry teacher taught us:
"All that glitters is not gold, but at least it contains free electrons"

chemistry
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From: winicur#NoSpam.beagle.colorado.edu (Zev Winicur)

PROFESSOR EPPENDORF'S LABORATORY NOVELTIES AND PRACTICAL JOKES

by Zev Winicur

X-RAY SPECS

Forget the cheap, plastic x-ray specs from yesteryear. These battery powered spectacles contain a real x-ray! Hold your hand in front of your face to see your bones wiggling around. Count your friends' vertebrae and locate joint articulations. Great at lab parties!

$11.99 each

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LEONARD THE TALKING LAB MOUSE

Turn Leonard on and he occasionally twitches in his cage. Pick him up by his tail and he says, ``Hey, put me down!'' Covered with real mouse fur, Leonard is the most realistic looking ersatz mouse on the market.

$14.99 each

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September 24 September 30
REMOTE-CONTROLLED GEIGER COUNTER

Looks and acts like a real Geiger counter but you can make the needle ``jump'' at the press of a button. Hide the remote control in your pocket and make the needle move when people check themselves for radiation. They'll go into hysterics thinking they have received a lethal dose! Yuks galore!

$259.99 each

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GLOW-IN-THE-DARK PIPETTE TIPS

You will be the talk of the lab with these handy glow-in-the-dark pipette tips. They fit standard 20, 200, and 1000 microliter pipetmen.

$19.49 for bulk bag of 1000

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SNAKE-IN-A-REAGENT-JAR

Three spring snakes fit into our realistic chemical reagent jar. People expecting to weigh out chemicals will be ``attacked'' by the snakes! A laugh riot!

$4.99 for reagent jar and three snakes

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CENTRIFUGE NOISES

This mini tape recorder fits behind any standard ultracentrifuge. As the centrifuge accelerates, the mini recorder makes incredibly loud scraping sounds to simulate the rotor becoming unbalanced. Watch them run for cover as they think the rotor is about to go through the wall!

$13.99 each

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THE SPILLED EXPERIMENT GAG

Based on the old ``spilled beer gag'', an Erlenmeyer flask is tipped on its side with the ``contents'' spilling out. The ``liquid'' is really a transparent, solid plastic but only you will know that. Perfect for dealing with neatness nuts in the lab.

$4.99 each

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DRIBBLE BEAKER

Looks like a real beaker but when the researcher pours out any fluid, it dribbles down the side! More fun than a barrel of monkeys!

$5.99 each


chemistry
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From: mini-AIR June 97 <marca#NoSpam.wilson.harvard.edu>
1997-06-11	

Love and Organic Chemistry

Science and love are inseparable. That is the theme of the AIR Campaign for Textbook Improvement ("AIRCTI -- pronounced "AIR kitty"). AIRCTI aims to warm the cold, emotionless textbooks of today by adding to each a love interest.

Investigator Charles N. Horton has synthesized a love interest for the textbook "Organic Chemistry," 4th Edition, by John McMurry (Brooks/Cole Publishing Company, Boston, 1996). Horton mixed in the romance of a couple named Dan and Melissa. Here are relevant, abstracted snippets from the revised textbook:

..
CHAPTER 5: AN OVERVIEW OF ORGANIC REACTIONS
   Dan was shopping for some organic bean sprouts when he bumped
into Melissa. "Oh! You like organic stuff too?" he asked. "Yes,"
she said, "and I know this great organic cafe..."
..
CHAPTER 11: REACTIONS OF ALKYL HALIDES: NUCLEOPHILIC SUBSTITUTIONS
AND ELIMINATIONS
   "Oh no," thought Dan. She already has a boyfriend. I must
substitute myself for him! But how?
   And then a light came on in his mind. "I can eliminate him
using an alkyl halide nucleophile!"
..
CHAPTER 30: THE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY OF METABOLIC PATHWAYS
   And so, they lived happily ever after on the pathway of love...

chemistry
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From: ejones#NoSpam.hooked.net (Earle Jones)

What do you get if you react Calcium with Nitric Acid?

Answer:  Sodium Carbonate and Hydrogen

2Ca + 2HNO3 => 2NaCO3 + H2

Check to see if it balances.

chemistry
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THE CHEMIST'S RECIPIE FOR CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

The following recipie for chocolate chip cookies recently appeared in Chemical & Engineering News (C&EN, Jun 19, 1995, p. 100). It was attributed to Jeannene Ackerman of Witco Corp.

Ingredients:
 1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
 2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
 3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
 4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
 5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
 6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
 7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
 8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
 9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat-transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr add one, two, and three with constant agitation.

In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm add four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogeneous.

To reactor #2 add eight followed by three equal portions of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add nine and ten slowly with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.

Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25 deg. C heat-transfer table allowing the product to come to equilibrium.


chemistry
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From: "Paul Bainbridge" <large57#NoSpam.hotmail.com>
One of my T-shirts has the symbols:

C Ho Co La Te
"Better living through Chemistry"

chemistry
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Acid -- better living through chemistry.

chemistry
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Special Category: Richard Feynman
May 11
Februari 15
All theoretical chemistry is really physics;
and all theoretical chemists know it. -- Richard P. Feynman

chemistry
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methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutamin-
ylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolyl-
phenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglu-
taminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanyl-
glycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylala-
nylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylgluta-
minylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylgly-
cylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionyl-
leucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleu-
cylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylva-
lylphenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyro-
sylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleu-
cylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphe-
nylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylala-
nylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylas-
partylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosyl-
glycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycyl-
valylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleu-
cylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparagi-
nylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylse-
rylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl-
glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalylly-
sylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylpro-
lylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalyl-
glutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserine, 

n.:  The chemical name for tryptophan synthetase A protein, a
        1,913-letter enzyme with 267 amino acids.
                -- Mrs. Bryne's Dictionary of Unusual, Obscure, and

From: sageis#NoSpam.charter.net

methionylglutaminylarginyltyrosylglutamylserylleucylphenylalanylalanylglutamin-
ylleucyllysylglutamylarginyllysylglutamylglycylalanylphenylalanylvalylprolyl-
phenylalanylvalylthreonylleucylglycylaspartylprolylglycylisoleucylglutamylglu-
taminylserylleucyllysylisoleucylaspartylthreonylleucylisoleucylglutamylalanyl-
glycylalanylaspartylalanylleucylglutamylleucylglycylisoleucylprolylphenylala-
nylserylaspartylprolylleucylalanylaspartylglycylprolylthreonylisoleucylgluta-
minylasparaginylalanylthreonylleucylarginylalanylphenylalanylalanylalanylgly-
cylvalylthreonylprolylalanylglutaminylcysteinylphenylalanylglutamylmethionyl-
leucylalanylleucylisoleucylarginylglutaminyllysylhistidylprolylthreonylisoleu-
cylprolylisoleucylglycylleucylleucylmethionyltyrosylalanylasparaginylleucylva-
lylphenylalanylasparaginyllysylglycylisoleucylaspartylglutamylphenylalanyltyro-
sylalanylglutaminylcysteinylglutamyllysylvalylglycylvalylaspartylserylvalylleu-
cylvalylalanylaspartylvalylprolylvalylglutaminylglutamylserylalanylprolylphe-
nylalanylarginylglutaminylalanylalanylleucylarginylhistidylasparaginylvalylala-
nylprolylisoleucylphenylalanylisoleucylcysteinylprolylprolylaspartylalanylas-
partylaspartylaspartylleucylleucylarginylglutaminylisoleucylalanylseryltyrosyl-
glycylarginylglycyltyrosylthreonyltyrosylleucylleucylserylarginylalanylglycyl-
valylthreonylglycylalanylglutamylasparaginylarginylalanylalanylleucylprolylleu-
cylasparaginylhistidylleucylvalylalanyllysylleucyllysylglutamyltyrosylasparagi-
nylalanylalanylprolylprolylleucylglutaminylglycylphenylalanylglycylisoleucylse-
rylalanylprolylaspartylglutaminylvalyllysylalanylalanylisoleucylaspartylalanyl-
glycylalanylalanylglycylalanylisoleucylserylglycylserylalanylisoleucylvalylly-
sylisoleucylisoleucylglutamylglutaminylhistidylasparaginylisoleucylglutamylpro-
lylglutamyllysylmethionylleucylalanylalanylleucyllysylvalylphenylalanylvalyl-
glutaminylprolylmethionyllysylalanylalanylthreonylarginylserinesque.

Adj, A state of being very similar to that of tryptophan synthetase. 1,917!


chemistry
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Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams

chemistry
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Chemicals:  Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.

chemistry
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From: ericd#NoSpam.jubal.mdli.com (Eric Desch)

Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the
precipitate!

chemistry
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There is the joke about the homeopath who forgot to take his
medicine and died of an overdose.

chemistry
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March 13
Februari 6

From: a94petbe#NoSpam.ida.his.se (Peter Bengtsson)
Corrected by: "Hales, Christy A" <Christy.A.Hales#NoSpam.msfc.nasa.gov>

Chemistry is really funny, there are even people
who laugh at N2O.
(You will have to know some chemistry to understand this :-)
From: cgra#NoSpam.se.alcbel.be (Chris Gray)

Or Nitrogen Triiodide???

chemistry
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From: "Lev A. Gorenstein" <lev#NoSpam.cv4.chem.purdue.edu>

Anyway, I think this is a good idea. Here's my contribution. These are "crazy phrases" from some works on several Moscow city and regional high-school chemistry olympiads (I've been a member of the Organizing Committee for them for a number of years and I really miss this now). By the way, if anybody knows about similar things here in the US (and Indiana in particular) - I will be gratefull.

Unfortunately, all of these citations are in Russian (obviously ;-) and, what is much worse, most of them are unexpected (for their authors) puns, which are impossible (at least for me) to translate (some of these puns were just great, all the Orginizing Committee was rolling on the floor in tears ;-). I found only several phrases allowing translation (not best pearls, unfortunately...):

[For the question: "Why H2S is a poison for us?"] : "H2S reacts with the iron in hemoglobin, forming an insoluble FeS, thus causing the oxygen deficiency" (there were some variants like Fe2S, Fe2S3, Fe2S2... But - isn't it a good idea, especially taking into account that it was in the work of a 13 years old guy?)

[for the question: "Why lead compounds are poisons for us?"] : a) "Lead ions make sugar in the blood poisoned" b) "After Pb2+ gets in the stomach, since there is the Cl- in the stomach juice, the reaction Pb2+ + 2Cl- ---> PbCl2 (s) occurs, and the unsoluble PbCl2 precipitates into the stomach, thus distorting food digestion"

"Also the produced hydrogen is a gas with nasty smell"

[At the end of the work] : "Damn, done!"

"When AgNO3 reacts with NH4Cl, there forms the precipitate kind of white and Ag salt" (Everywhere I tried to translate it equivalently to it's Russian prototype, saving the grammar mistakes and style ;-)

[For the problem "Find mistakes in the following procedure of preparation of diluted H2SO4: .... "] :

a) For preparation of diluted (strictly - solution) sulfuric acid one
   must not use concentrated H2SO4.
b) There is no such thing as "volumetric flask"
c) The mixture of ice and table salt DOESN'T EXIST!

"Ice and NaCl mixture? Crap! The ice would momentarily melt because of NaCl!"

"To the sulfuric acid one must add water, but not water to sulfuric acid"

[The following was on the VERY weak work (it happened that the teacher said to pupils : "You won't get a good grade unless you go to the olympiads" and sometimes there was just a bunch of people who were not interested in chemistry and had came only "to be marked good" in teacher's eyes). They were starving there, because they were unable to solve any problem, they couldn't leave because of a teacher, and they had to entertain themselves. But how? Probably the oldest way to entertain oneself is to write something nasty to somebody else (also proved by recent anonymous posting about grad. schools ;-). Ok, enough theory, I explained the joke, you may start laughing here :-) Okh, one more explanation: "pud" is an old Russian wieght unit, equals 16 kg:

"Don't have enough sake to find the mass % without calculator.  That is
why:
        It's better eat a "pud" of shit,
        Than solve your chemistry, damn it!"

(this was rhymed! We thought about making this verse an unofficial slogan of our Committee ;-)

Will check in my books about any funny chem. experiments. Regards to all, would like to see other responces.


chemistry
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From: naight#NoSpam.MCS.COM (Nathan Parker)

Remember that without t Chemistry, Nothing would exist!

chemistry
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From: Brian McClain <briguy#NoSpam.ecst.csuchico.edu>
How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
None. That's what organic chemists are for!

chemistry
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From: kab4242#NoSpam.utxvms.cc.utexas.edu (Kevin Anthony Boudreaux)

It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked
in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue.
--quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)

chemistry
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A male polar bear and a female brown bear are sitting at a bar.
Polar Bear: Sorry babe, I just don't think the
chemistry is right.

chemistry
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Physical Chemistry is research on everything for which the negative
logaritm is linear with 1/T -- D.L. Bunker

chemistry
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From: arpepper#NoSpam.math.uwaterloo.ca (Adrian Pepper)

An Ironman Triathlon consists of a 2.4mile swim, a 112mile bicycle ride,
and a full marathon run (26 miles, 385 yards).

A Half-Ironman Triathlon consists of a 1.2mile swim, a 56mile bicycle ride,
and a half marathon run (13 miles, 192 yards, one foot, six inches).

Since Iron has atomic number 26, and alumin[i]um atomic number 13,
would it be appropriate to describe Half-Ironman events as "Alumin[i]um
Man" events?

chemistry
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From: mpark#NoSpam.kean.ucs.mun.ca (Murray)

        Ok, here's one of my own...I ususally don't say anything quotable,
but a couple of my lab-mates thought this was pretty funny at the time...
Set up the quote: I am a synthetic inorganic chemistry student a Memorial
University of Newfoundland, St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada. Our research
group attempts to make interesting magnetic materials...not facile.  After
a full week of null results at the bench, I had just found that my most
recent experiment had gone bust when a friend of mine walked in, finding
me scratching my head in bewilderment.  With tinted bottles of solvents and
chemicals all around me, I just turned to him and said,

        "All of these pretty little brown bottles surround me...and NOT A
SINGLE ONE OF THEM is filled with BEER."

chemistry
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From: Martin Ystenes <ystenes#NoSpam.kjemi.unit.no>
This reminds me of a story of two students who wanted to celebrate the
long and light summer evening by fishing in their boat in the Norwegian
fjord. But first they went to the lab, grabbed a bottle with the
magic label 96%, and set off. After some time, the one said to
the other:
- I am afraid we have done something wrong. This is not ethanol,
it is sulphuric acid.
- I know. I have just peed a hole in he boat.

chemistry
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From: CJHEMMIN#NoSpam.SCIENCE.uwaterloo.ca (Christopher Hemming)
September 4
Special Category: How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb
Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll change it three times, plot a straight line through
the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration.

chemistry
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From: chngch#NoSpam.singnet.com.sg (Darren Chng)

This is a true event.............

IT'S OFFICIAL : CHEMISTRY LECTURES ARE A YAWN.
(9. Oct 95)

A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for
years -- chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the
current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer
introduced a guest lecturer to a class of 50 doctoral candidates. Then, he
and his colleagues studied variations in what he calls the HTFDR --
"head-to-floor distance reduction." After about an hour , the average HTFDR
dropped from 135cm to 121cm, said the author of the study, who preferred to
remain anonymous. The HTFDR immediately bounced back to normal when the
speaker uttered the magic words: "And in conclusion............"

chemistry
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From: Dave Arnold <arnold#NoSpam.pop1.science.widener.edu>
What is Na2O7?  Ans:  Borax   (Na2 before O7)

chemistry
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From: Ian Ellis <ian#NoSpam.iglou.com>
ON A CHEMISTRY TEST at Midpark High School in Middleburg Heights, Ohio, one
question concerned how to clean the floor after a chemical-powder spill. In
detail, I described the liquid I would combine with the powder in order to
dissolve it with chemical bonding and electron transfer. I was pleased with
my grasp of molecular structure until the exams were handed back. Our
teacher asked another student to read her answer. She suggested a broom and
a dustpan to sweep up the spill -- and got full credit.

--Contributed to "Tales Out of School" by Joe Astorino
   ऊ 1996 The Reader's Digest Association, Inc. All rights reserved.

chemistry
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From: Ian Ellis <ian#NoSpam.iglou.com>
DURING my freshman biology class at North High School in Springfield, Ohio,
our teacher was lecturing on the conditions in which bacteria exist.
Elaborating on the acidic environment where certain bacteria thrive, he
suggested a simple experiment. "I want you to drop a nail into a glass of
Coke or Pepsi, and then observe the acidic reaction on the nail," he said.
The girl sitting next to me raised her hand and asked in all seriousness,
"Do you mean a real nail, or a press-on?"
   --Contributed to "Tales Out of School" by Carolyn Stickney
   ऊ 1996 The Reader's Digest Association, Inc. All rights reserved.

chemistry
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From: "V. ROGERS" <TEXVR#NoSpam.leeds.ac.uk>
This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female
student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and
decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water. Her
professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye
and hurried towards her, and after confirming this was what she was
intending to do, asked her first to stir the water in the bucket for five
minutes before adding the potassium. She was puzzled and ran after him to
ask the purpose of this action.

'It will give me time to get away' said the professor.

chemistry
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From: "G - P" <GP#NoSpam.GP.Com>
During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of
various acids. "Now I'm going to drop this silver coin into this glass of
acid. Will it dissolve?"

"No sir," one student called out.

"No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver won't
dissolve in this particular acid."

"Because if it would, you wouldn't have dropped it in!"

chemistry
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From: "Apate" <sarthicars#NoSpam.ip.eth.net>
                          Whats that concoction?

My high school chemistry teacher, Mr. McKaskill was fond of making these
chemical concoctions and then checking out their properties.  He would make
the weirdest combinations of chemicals with leaves, wood, basically
anything he could get his hands on.  Once the entire building had to be
evacuated because he mixed up sulfur with some acid and something else
which even he cannot remember, producing hydrogen suphide in large
quantities.  Whenever we came to his class in the morning there was some
new combination lying in some beaker somewhere.

Anyway, one day just before class I walked up to his table and picked up a
container of some red gooey liquid.  Mr. McKasill had been working late the
previous day, so I thought that this must be the result of his work, so I
turned to him and said "Mr. McKasill, what is this muck.  It looks like
diarrhea with blood in it" He turns around, looks at me with bleary eyes
and then says in a tired voice "Please leave that Prashant.  Thats my
lunch."

chemistry
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From: Donny Wibisono <dwibison#NoSpam.acad.bryant.edu>

"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

chemistry
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From: unnikrishnan.mk#NoSpam.mahe.manipal.edu (M K Unnikrishnan COPS)

"Not all chemicals are bad. For instance, without hydrogen and oxygen we
cannot make water, an essential ingredient in beer"

chemistry
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From: "Pavel Goudochnikov" <ear9pg#NoSpam.WEST-01.NOVELL.LEEDS.AC.UK>

A ubiquitous Fe-rich Male compound - FeMale - posesses a considerable number of
beneficial properties. Frequently highly decorative in the native form, FeMale
is a proven aphrodisiac and a versatile detergent. There are also reasons to
believe that FeMale plays a crucial role in human reproduction and
child-rearing.

Despite the existence of vast archives of experimental data, the reaction
pathways involving FeMale are at best poorly understood.

FeMale is unstable in an oxydizing atmosphere and has been known to
spontaneously ignite at room temperature. As a consequence FeMale is rather
difficult to work with.

The magnetic behaviour points towards polymorphism. It varies from sample to
sample ranging from moderately antiferromagnetic to very strongly
ferromagnetic. Curiously, some antiferromagnetic specimens appear to undergo a
spin transition when exposed to alcohol-rich atmospheres (the well documented
Beer-Goggles effect).

Given the availability of reactive Fe, FeMale forms readily in Male- dominated
environments and under favourable circumstances may persist over geological
time. FeMale may thus prove to be of considerable importance on a global scale
as an Fe- and Male- reservoir.

chemistry biology
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From: Uncle Al http://www.mazepath.com/uncleal/

Isn't it time we required universal Federal licensing for use of Alka
Seltzer, Fizzies, and Pop Rocks?  Background verification, two week
cooling off period, fingerprinting, mandatory fizz locks.  No gas
release in excess of one liter.  No automatic unloading - no motorized
or wind-up Pez dispensors!

CO2 kills!  Suffocation!  GREENHOUSE EFFECT! Save our children!

Minorities are put at risk!  I want a National War on CO2!  We already
know how Belgium was decimated by Coke-a-Cola.  Can we afford to risk
American lives so the small cliques of fantatics and zealots can
exercise their bubbling pornographic appetites?  How many children must
die before we act!

Burning the flag releases CO2, Hitler's crematoria released CO2,
firebombing Dresden released CO2, nuking Hiroshima released CO2 - how
much clearer must it be made?

And what about NO2? SO2? ClO2? Are we about to discriminate on the basis
of Period Table group number?  Renumbering the groups ws not enough.
Renumbering the groups will NEVER be enough!  I say, "NEVER!"  Every
elemental group must realize its full electrochemical potential and
oxidation state, and all its lesser oxidation states as well - with
equal representation!

Today it is baking soda and vinegar.  Tomorrow it will be sodium
hydroxide and concentrated sulfuric acid.  By the end of the week
butyllithium/TMEDA will be poured into Magic Acid by the pound! By the
ton!  WHERE WILL IT STOP!

Exotherms, global warming, penguins sweated to death... all because some
MONSTER wanted a little fizz.  Isn't that the way it always starts, with
a "little" CO2 in a Bierstube in Munich?  Computer models and their
renormalized data are unequivocal: 44.0104!

Mommy, daddy, does your child breathe CO2?

From:: Franॉois D'Hooge <fdhooge#NoSpam.club-internet.fr>
Yes, good ideas. I'll add some few  more:

Stop breathing.
Every human release carbon dioxide by breathing, so, if 5 billon people
stop breathing, we may go back to the ice age .

Cut trees [at night]
Well, trees transform CO2 into O2 by day, but when night comes, their evil
CO2 producing task, begins.  so, let's cut all trees at night. cut all the
rainforest in a few nights.

From: Pieter.Kuiper#NoSpam.itn.hh.se (Pieter Kuiper)

In article <378F6C91.3EFAEB39#NoSpam.hate.spam.net>, Uncle Al
<uncleal0#NoSpam.hate.spam.net> wrote in a beautiful outburst:

> We already know how Belgium was decimated by Coke-a-Cola.

Well, the company blamed that on "the wrong kind" of CO2....

chemistry
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From: mini-air <marca#NoSpam.chem2.harvard.edu>
2001-05-05	A Chemical Punch

There has been a novel advance in the chemistry of propellants.
Investigator Keith G. Tomazi reports:

"I just came across a novel rocket fuel, as reported on Page 1 of
the Wall Street Journal (Tuesday, April 10, 2001):

	The New York City-based Fighters' Institute for Survival and
	Training, or FIST, helps boxers with life outside the ring.
	But the group...hopes to become a union for boxers....
	That pace sounds familar to Paul Johnson, a Minneapolis
	ex-boxer. He has tried to get the Boxer's Organizing
	Committee off the ground for about 12 years....Still,
	he believes that a union is imminent. "We've got the
	rocket ship on the pad, we're pumping liquid nitrogen,
	and we're going to blast off," he says.

"This is one picket line that I wouldn't care to cross. Still,
their chemistry seems unusual: I wonder if anybody else has
proposed a non-flammable rocket fuel?"

chemistry
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Special Category: Why the chicken crossed the road according to scientists
Special Category: Henri le Chैtelier
October 8
September 17
From: Brittany Moorhouse <lillyberry#NoSpam.shaw.ca>

Why did the chicken cross the road?

According to Le Chatelier:
 
The chicken crossed the road because there were too many moles of chicken
on the reactants side of the road equilibrium.

chemistry
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From: Vik Olliver <vik#NoSpam.olliver.family.gen.nz>

Teacher: Johnny, what's H2SO4?
Johnny (for it is he): Er, hang on. I know this one. It's on the tip of
my tongue...
Teacher:  Well spit it out quick, it's sulphuric acid!


chemistry
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                          CHEMICAL RELATIONSHIPS
Februari 14
From: "McCarthy, Devon" <DMcCa1#NoSpam.newhaven.edu>

 My younger brother, worried he has doomed his relationship with his
 girlfriend, came to me for some advice.  I told him

Relationships are like titrations.

Just take it slow and dont over react.

chemistry
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From: "Katrien De Gusseme" <katriendegusseme#NoSpam.hotmail.com>

In second year of chemical engineering, I was following a course in
industrial chemistry when all of a sudden, I see a friend on the row before
me, standing up , pale as a sheet and trying to get out of the row of seats
(mind you, it's one of those bigger teaching-rooms that seat about 150
people, we call them "aula's" in Dutch).

The professor in fronts looks at my friend and asks what the problem is. "I
don't feel well", he manages to say before he collapses to the floor.

The professor, a man of impressive size, stays very calm and orders someone
to call an ambulance. My friend regains consciousness but stays on the
floor, not feeling well enough to get up. At this information, the
professor turns to the blackboard an resumes his class. Some 10 minutes
later the medics arrive, when they make their way to my friend, the
professor turns away from the blackboard and says to them 'in the time it
has take you to come here, a person could have died'. And he resumes his
class again.

chemistry
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From: Jnaneshwara G K <Jnaneshwara.Kindel#NoSpam.syngeneintl.com>
Q.How to convert hexane to pentane?
A.take scissor and cut it
Q. How to convert hexane to cyclohexane
A. take hexane and cyclize it.
Q. How to convert double bond to james bond?
A. give Gun or rub double and write james
Q. Why during reduction of double bond number of hydrogen increases?
A. Please call it as incresion!!
Q. How to prepare cyclohexanone..?
A. take cyclohexa unknown remember it, becomes Cyclohexaknown = Cyclohexanone!!
Q. Why in reaction U tube used ?
A. Since there is no A.to T  tubes!!
Q. pentane, hexane then methane, ethane,  propane and butane to be called as?
A. monane, diane , triane and tetrane!!
Q. What you will get if you mix Ba with and 2 moles Na
A. gives BaNaNa..
Q. Why NaCN is poisonous?
A. reaction with water it gives  Na (catches fire) + H2 (ignites) + C+ NO(toxic)
Q. Why H2O easily gets pollution and not CO2?
A. since it had Hydrogen bonding makes friendship bond with everyone
Q. To brake Hydrogen bonding You have to add salt!!. How to break chemical bond?
A. You have to add waste!! 

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