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From: nathan

                               BIO Personals

I've been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up
with congenial TACGTAC.

Menage a trois! Ligand seeks two receptors into binding and mutual
phosphorylation. Let's get together and transduce some signals.

Some dates have called me a promotor. Others have referred to me as a real
operator. Personally, I think I'm just a cute piece of DNA who is still
looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind.

Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured
receptor who knows size isn't everything.

There must be a rational way to meet a date! I'm tired of hanging out in
those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right
peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right into my active site and
really turn me on. I'll send you my crystal structure if you send me

Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I've
shed my exons and am ready to express my introns. All I need is a cute
vector to introduce me to the right host.

My RNA, I'm sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted three tyrosines
when you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost in the
translation. Please forgive me.

Naked DNA with sticky ends seeks kanamycin-resistant plasmid. EcoR1 sites

Uninhibited virus seeks reason to make me shed my coat protein.

This very selective oliogonucleotide has been probing for just the right
target for long term hybridization.

Mature cell seeks same who still enjoys cycling and won't go apoptotic on
me. Let's fight senescence together!

I'm a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and self-renewal.
Call me if you're a potent hematopoietic factor who still believes in
endless nights of colony stimulation.

I don't always express myself on the surface, but I'm looking for a signal
that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message that will
penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and release my
potential energy.

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From: Ian Ellis <ian#NoSpam.iglou.com>
From "Readers Digest," April '93, 'Campus Comedy', p.125-6

As we took notes, out anatomy instructor labored through a lecture on
the way nerve cells transmit impulses. "Who can tell me how these cells
communicate with one another?" he asked, expecting someone to explain
the phenomenon of neurotransmission.
After a few muffled whispers, one student finally spoke up. "With
cellular phones?"

------- same source:

"...at Lamar University in Beaumont Texas, I noticed this sign on the
door of the microbiology lab: 'STAPH ONLY!'"

physics biology
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From: David den Ouden (david_den_ouden at hotmail dot com)

Ideal experimental integration of Physics in Cell Biology: Treating
epidermal solar cells with Growth Vectors

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From: David den Ouden (david_den_ouden at hotmail dot com)

Human being to a narrowminded science-o-holic Cell Biologist:
Human being: "You are so narrowminded, only preoccupied with your cells.
You don't know anything about the world you are living in. For instance,
what do you know about culture?"

Science-o-holic: "You mean CELL cultures?"

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From: centaur#NoSpam.nai.net (Dave Wright)

Scientifically, maybe body cells -do- replace themselves completely in
seven years -- but, legally, you're still married.
--Attorney to client, cartoon by Bunny Hoest and John Reiner

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From: Aliquotes i.v (journal) (rogerb#NoSpam.microsoft.com)
                    What's hot on the tube this month?

What's out for the hottest new show on the Dizzy Channel.

A new dramatic series set in the hustle bustle world of high fashion
protein synthesis It's ...

                                 ROUGH ER

See the drama of these hot young ribosomes as they fight to save proteins,
surrounded by the harsh and cruel reducing environment of the big

Watch as the mutilated remains of spliced and modified RNA come into the ER
to be transformed into hardy new proteins. Ready to take on anything the
extracellular environment can throw at them, as they go for the Golgi.

Stay tuned to your TV listings for where to tune for

                                 ROUGH ER
                 (Sponsored by AAA, Amino Acids Anonymous)

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From: "Pambrun, Ross W FOR:EX" <Ross.Pambrun#NoSpam.gems9.gov.bc.ca>

What did the Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum say the the Rough Endoplasmic
Is that Ribosome on you or are you happy to see me?

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From: Tom Mundackal <mndckl#NoSpam.yahoo.com>

Man: I wish I was the enzyme dna helicase.
Woman : Why
Man: So I could unzip your genes

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