Science Jokes:1. MATHEMATICS : 1.10 MATHEMATICAL TESTS TO TAKE

1. MATHEMATICS

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1.10 MATHEMATICAL TESTS TO TAKE

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mathematics
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This was made by Mike Bender and Sarah Herr:

MATHEMATICS PURITY TEST

Count the number of yes's, subtract from 60, and divide by 0.6.

The Basics

1) Have you ever been excited about math?
2) Had an exciting dream about math?
3) Made a mathematical calculation?
4) Manipulated the numerator of an equation?
5) Manipulated the denominator of an equation?
6) On your first problem set?
7) Worked on a problem set past 3:00 a.m.?
8) Worked on a problem set all night?
9) Had a hard problem?
10) Worked on a problem continuously for more than 30 minutes?
11) Worked on a problem continuously for more than four hours?
12) Done more than one problem set on the same night (i.e. both started and finished them)?
13) Done more than three problem sets on the same night?
14) Taken a math course for a full year?
15) Taken two different math courses at the same time?
16) Done at least one problem set a week for more than four months?
17) Done at least one problem set a night for more than one month (weekends excluded)?
18) Done a problem set alone?
19) Done a problem set in a group of three or more?
20) Done a problem set in a group of 15 or more?
21) Was it mixed company?
22) Have you ever inadvertently walked in upon people doing a problem set?
23) And joined in afterwards?
24) Have you ever used food doing a problem set?
25) Did you eat it all?
26) Have you ever had a domesticated pet or animal walk over you while you were doing a problem set?
27) Done a problem set in a public place where you might be discovered?
28) Been discovered while doing a problem set?

Kinky Stuff

29) Have you ever applied your math to a hard science?
30) Applied your math to a soft science?
31) Done an integration by parts?
32) Done two integration by parts in a single problem?
33) Bounded the domain and range of your function?
34) Used the domination test for improper integrals?
35) Done Newton's Method?
36) Done the Method of Frobenius?
37) Used the Sandwich Theorem?
38) Used the Mean Value Theorem?
39) Used a Gaussian surface?
40) Used a foreign object on a math problem (eg: calculator)?
41) Used a program to improve your mathematical technique (eg: MACSYMA)?
42) Not used brackets when you should have?
43) Integrated a function over its full period?
44) Done a calculation in three-dimensional space?
45) Done a calculation in n-dimensional space?
46) Done a change of bases?
47) Done a change of bases specifically in order to magnify your vector?
48) Worked through four complete bases in a single night (eg: using the Graham-Schmidt method)?
49) Inserted a number into an equation?
50) Calculated the residue of a pole?
51) Scored perfectly on a math test?
52) Swallowed everything your professor gave you?
53) Used explicit notation in your problem set?
54) Purposefully omitted important steps in your problem set?
55) Padded your own problem set?
56) Been blown away on a test?
57) Blown away your professor on a test?
58) Have you ever multiplied 23 by 3?
59) Have you ever bounded your Bessel function so that the membrane did not shoot to infinity?
60) Have you ever understood the following quote: "The relationship between Z^0 to C_0, B_0, and H_0 is an example of a general principle which we have encountered: the kernel of the adjoint of a linear transformation is both the annihilator space of the image of the transformation and also the dual space of the quotient of the space of which the image is a subspace by the image subspace." (Shlomo & Bamberg's _A "Course" in Mathematics for Students of Physics_)

mathematics
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Special Category: quizzes and tests to do
                                  MATHMO TEST
                           15/03/1990 (version 0.01)

These questions were compiled by Gavin Matthews (GRM11#NoSpam.UK.AC.CAM.PHX) with
the assistance of Bob Dowling (RJD4) and others.  Any offence caused by
this file, to any person living, dead or mathmo, is entirely deliberate.
Any suggestions are, of course, welcome - especially those which are
physically possible.

Answer strictly one of "YES" or "NO" to each of the following questions.
Count the number of distinct questions to which you answer "YES".


GAMES AND PUZZLES
: Can you solve Rubik's Cube unassisted?
: Have you ever made a model of a dodecahedron?
: Can you play Go?
: Can you play Othello?
: Have you ever beaten a computer at Chess?
: Have you ever played Conway's Game of Life?
: ...by hand?
: Do you know the probability of a 4-3-3-3 split in Bridge?

MANNERISMS
: Have you used the word "trivial" more than twice in the last 24 hours?
: Would you answer "Do you know the time?" with "Yes"?
: Would you answer "Is it still raining or has it stopped?" with "Yes"?
: When people make grammatical errors do you correct them?
: If someone accused you of "pedanticism" would you reply "pedantry"?
: Would you wear a jumper with (an approximation to) the Mandelbrot Set on it?
: Would you say "There exists" rather than "There is"?
: Do you drink more than 5 cups of coffee or tea per day?
: Would you talk about "n objects, where n is ..." ?
: Do you make excruciatingly bad puns?
: Have you ever corrected a lecturer?
: ...three times in the same lecture?
: Do you usually wear an anorak?
: Would you introduce yourself as a "mathmo"?
: _Are_ you introduced as a "mathmo"?
: Do you have strong views on the least natural number?

EXPERIENCE
: Have you ever plotted (an approximation to) the Mandelbrot Set?
: Have you ever calculated (an approximation to) pi or e on a computer?
: Would you know what to do with Napier's bones?
: Does the word "plagiarise" make you think of Nikolai Ivanovitch Lobachevsky?
: Do you, or did you read Mathematics?
: Have you read "Goedel, Escher, Bach"?
: Do you play a musical instrument?
: Have you ever programmed a computer to count prime numbers?
: Have you solved the 8-queens problem?
: Are you a member of a maths society?
: Were you cleverer than maths teachers at your school?

ATTRIBUTES
: Do you think more clearly whilst pacing?
: ...fiddling with something?
: Are other people unable to read your handwriting?
: Are _you_ unable to read your handwriting?
: Is your spelling lousy?
: Are you either hopelessly incompetent or frighteningly competent at mental arithmetic?
: Are you short-sighted?
: Are you left-handed?
: Would you fail the Turing Test?
: Do you often forget to have meals?
: Are you physically unco-ordinated?
: When you hear the word "ring", do you think first of a set with multiplication and addition?
: Consider the joke: "Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? - To get to the same side."  Do you find this amusing?
: Does the denary value of 2^16 spring readily to mind?
: Can you "prove" 0=1?
: Do you know how many primes there are less than 100?
: ...less than 10000?
: Does the number 1,729 mean anything to you?
: Do you know what "QED" stands for?

FLUENTS
: Is it more than six months since you last had a haircut?
: Is it more than a week since you last had a bath/shower?
: In the last month, have you gone 24 hours continuously without sleep?
: In the last month, have you gone 18 hours continuously without being awake?
: Is it more than a week since you changed your clothes?

METRICS
: Have you ever done anything merely to improve your score in this test?
: Do you feel that some of these questions were designed with you in mind?
: Have you attempted to wilfully misinterpret any question in this test?
: Did you succeed?
: Did you notice the split infinitive two questions ago?

mathematics
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From: "Paige Phillips" <pi314159#NoSpam.hotmail.com>
Psych test for math majors:  Is the interval half open or half closed?

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