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From: ac593#NoSpam.freenet.buffalo.edu

The subatomic particle store had a sale last week.

   Electrons:  $0.10
   Protons  :  $0.10
   Neutrons :  free of charge

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             THE SEX LIFE OF AN ELECTRON (with unhappy ending)

One night when his charge was at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to
get a cute little coil to discharge him.  He picked up Millie Amp and
took her for a ride on his megacycle.  They rode across the wheat stone
bridge, around the sine wave, and into the magnetic field next to the
flowing current.

Micro Farad, attracted by Millie's characteristic curve, soon had her
field fully excited.  He laid her on the ground potential, raised her
frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage
probe.  He inserted it in parallel and began to short circuit her shunt.
Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho".  With his tube
at maximum output and her coil vibrating from the current flow, her
shunt soon reached maximum heat.  The excessive current had shorted her
shunt, and Micro's capacity was rapidly discharged, and every electron
was drained off.  They fluxed all night, tried various connections and
hookings until his bar magnet had lost all of its strength, and he could
no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field.  With
his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so
they ended up reversing polarity and blowing each other's fuses.

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From: Marcel Melters <mac#NoSpam.mcc.iaehv.nl>
             THE SEX LIFE OF AN ELECTRON ( with happy ending)

One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad went to see
if he could find a cute little coil to let him discharge.
He picked up Milli Amp, and took her for a ride on his Megacycle.
They rode accross the wheatstone bridge, along the sine wave and
stopped at a magnetic field flowing with current.
Micro Farad soon had her resistance at a minimum level. They laid
against ground level. Micro Farad then inserted his probe in Milli
Amps socket. Ohm, Ohm, give me Mho, she said.
They fluxed all night, trying out various connections.
Afterwards Milli Amp tried self-induction and damaged her probe.
After this, they went home and oscillated happily ever after.

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From: "Jay Billings" <jay.billings#NoSpam.verizon.net>

Why do all the other subatomic particles hate the electrons - they are
so negative

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Special Category: Definitions and terms

From: "Steve" <sacoffman#NoSpam.bsu.edu>

Definition of "electron"?
What the US did in 1980 and 1984. (Ronald Reagan)

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From: Lewis Liu <nukerliu#NoSpam.yahoo.com>

A lonely hydrogen ion sees a helium atom and walks up to him and scolds,
"Hey, you shouldn't practice polygomy on those poor electrons, it's not
attractive you know?"  And the helium atom laughs and says, "Well, at least
i get to keep them!"

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From: Stan Kegel <kegel#NoSpam.fea.net>, puns of the weak
I don't like electrons; they've always had a negative influence on
society. (Chris Lipe) 

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From: "socratus" http://www.socratus.com

Robert Milliken, who measured a charge of electron, in his Nobel speech (
1923) told,  that he knew nothing about "last essence of electron".

In that case there is one old joke.

One professor asked a student:

"What is an electron?"

"Ah, God damn it! I have forgotten. And in fact even in the morning I knew
it. "-  the student answered.

" You should recollect it without fail, - professor said "because you were
the unique person who knew, what electron was, and you had suddenly

This old joke does not grow old.

And today a question: "What is the electron?" remains without answer.

How the electron looks nobody knows.

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