Index | Comments and Contributions | previous:2.17 Newtons's laws and classical dynamics
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
Three Laws of Thermodynamics (paraphrased):
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.
From: John Vinson <74222.2372#NoSpam.CompuServe.COM>
Ginsberg's Theorem (The modern statement of the three laws of thermodynamics)
1. You can't win.
2. You can't even break even.
3. You can't get out of the game.
4. THE LAW OF ENTROPY:
The perversity of the universe tends towards a maximum.
"Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem:
"Every majoy philosophy that attempts to make life seem
meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem.
To wit:
"1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
"2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
"3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game."
From R.J.ABBOTT#NoSpam.dundee.ac.uk
Since using the paraphrased laws of thermodynamics in my .sig the
following additions have been sent to me
From: potweed#NoSpam.calvados.apana.org.au (Bernard Booth)
First Law: You can't bet unless you play.
Second Law: The most you can hope for is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.
Fourth Law: Once you're born, you can't even get out of the game!
From: N.P.Whittington (N.P.Whittington#NoSpam.spps.hull.ac.uk)
Parodies of the laws of thermodynamics, in a science text book.
1. You can't win, you can only break even.
2. You can only break even at absolute zero.
3. You can never reach absolute zero.
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: norman69#NoSpam.FeHmkRGbRIWg.com THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS for Sanitation Engineers 0th: There is shit. 1st: You can't get rid of it. 2nd: It gets deeper. 3rd: A nice, empty trashcan is wishful thinking. KEEP SHOVELING!!
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: Matt Savage <matt.savage#NoSpam.dti.npl.co.uk> "The Fourth Law of Thermodynamics: Watt's Pots Never Boyle". "The Fifth Law of Thermodynamics: Things Get Worse Under Pressure".
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
Februari 26 Januari 28 From: Ian m Hodge <imhodge#NoSpam.yahoo.com> Bumper sticker about the 2nd Law of thermodynamics: S happens
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: David Shan Hill Wong <dshwong#NoSpam.che.nthu.edu.tw> Once I heard: There are three things you do not discuss with your friends Politics Religion Thermodynamics My reaction? They are all beliefs
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
November 19 April 15 From: "Ted Smith" <tcsmith#NoSpam.calweb.com> 1st Law of Thermodynamics: Go to class!!
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
November 19 April 15 From: "Ted Smith" <tcsmith#NoSpam.calweb.com> 1st law of Thermodynamics: Don't play with matches.
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: brom#NoSpam.yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (David Bromage) Statistical mechanics is for physicists who find drains too exciting.
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
September 25 October 5 From: Erik Reuter (eer36024#NoSpam.uxa.cso.uiuc.edu) Ludwig Boltzmann, who spent much of his life studying statistical mechanics, died in 1906, by his own hand. Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on the work, died similarly in 1933. Now it is our turn to study statistical mechanics. Perhaps it will be wise to approach the subject cautiously. -- David L. Goodstein [ _States of Matter_ ]
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: "Deepthi Amarasuriya" <DEEPTHI#NoSpam.uwyo.edu> Q: What is the connection between sausages and the second law of thermo? A: Because of the 2nd law, you can put a pig into a machine and get sausage, but you can't put sausage into the machine and get the pig back.
physics
[Top of page]
[Bottom of page]
[Index]
[Send comment]
From: Stan Kegel <kegel#NoSpam.fea.net>, Puns of the Weak Tom Swiftie: "Absolutely," Kelvin said temperately, as he zeroed in on the answer. (James Ertner )
next:2.19 in the lab | Index | Comments and Contributions
Member of the Science Humor Net Ring
[
Previous 5 Sites
|
Previous
|
Next
|
Next 5 Sites
]
[
Random Site
|
List Sites
]