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March 3
August 2
From: mhayden#NoSpam.mantis.ece.usu.edu (Mitchell Hayden)

forwarded from: Scott E. Budge!

It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by signaling extra
voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in
England). When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two
wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the
same line to be signalled without disturbing each other.

Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone
failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when
it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone repairman proceeded
to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the
subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked
loudly, followed by a ringing telephone.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. A dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron
  chain and collar.
2. The dog was receiving a 90 volt signalling current.
3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and
  urinating on the ground.
4. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring.

Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on

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September 29
From: "Keith E. Sullivan" <KSullivan#NoSpam.worldnet.att.net>
TWO FOUND, FOUR TO GO (Playboy, May 1997)
The world's largest particle accelerator -- a 17-mile-long ring in Geneva,
Switzerland in which subatomic particles whirl about at velocities
approaching the speed of light -- was mysteriously inoperable for five
days.  Investigators combed the $1 billion facility for clues and found two
empty beer bottles in one of its vacuum chambers.

Rob Mayoff <mayoff#NoSpam.tkg.com>
Keith Bostic <bostic#NoSpam.bostic.com>

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From: urlichs#NoSpam.smurf.sub.org (Matthias Urlichs)

                              GRAVE WINTERS?
Good news for people who get lethargic when winter arrives: A German
physics lab has reported that the onset of winter increases the Earth's
gravity. Finally there's a scientifically confirmed excuse for not getting
up when it's cold out there!

The real reason, unfortunately, turned out to be that the basement of said
lab was used to store a big heap of coal, for heating during the winter.
Apparently these things are big enough to reliably affect gravitometers.

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