Science Jokes

[ See the jokes | Collecting the jokes | Jokes statistics | Website statistics | Selecting some Science Jokes ]

About the Science Jokes Collection

I maintain the science jokes collection. Besides this page, there is also a history of the science jokes. ans updating your site every week, but with the right script, this only takes 5 minutes.

Collecting all that is lots of work.

I must :-) read the following newsgroups:

I have automated this a bit with a filter for DejaNews, but that is not as much fun.

Other sources:

Statistics of Science Jokes Collection

Version 7.71.4 Time-stamp: "2014-11-26"

Number of entries in a section
Introduction 313271809 0.00
TOTAL 3132 71809 22.93

If this looks like nonsense you could look at a preformatted table.
Number of jokes in every category
Jokes including:Number:
mathematics 883
physics 939
chemistry 383
biology 344
engineering 92
computer science 33
New jokes since last posting (December 21, 2013) : 6
Changed jokes since last posting (December 21, 2013) : 0

If you like to calculate the statistics for your own downloaded file, you can use the awk-script jokes.awk, which gives you the information, you see here. If you also wish to see the statistics for the subsections, you can use the script jokesub.awk.

Website statistics of Nov 1998

The statistics as generated by XS4all are a bit difficult to follow, as only the filename and not the title of a page is mentioned. In december 1998, I organized it in a way to be able to understand what was happening on the site. Here is the hit list of November 1998 in the order of the sections with some conclusions.

List of hit pages

Number of hits for all sections
mathematics - general631
mathematics - proofs361
mathematics - statistics and statisticians207
mathematics - mathematicians214
mathematics - poetry182
mathematics - quotes167
mathematics - puns272
physics - general565
physics - poetry269
physics - quotes272
physics - puns355
chemistry - general1191
chemistry - poetry452
chemistry - quotes385
chemistry - puns672
biology - general359
biology - poetry257
biology - quotes263
biology - puns393
other sciences150
the mathematician, the physicist and the engineer (and others)186
combined sciences116
academic life - general133
academic life - rules for research180
academic life - rules for writing an article100
miscellany - general54
miscellany - poetry55
miscellany - quotes87
anecdotes about famous scientists159
mnemonics - intro179
mnemonics - mnemonics153
mnemonics - mathematics181
mnemonics - computer science113
mnemonics - physics and astronomy163
mnemonics - chemistry280
mnemonics - biology and medicine227
mnemonics - miscellany123
sources of science humor on and off the net177
Number of hits for special cases
main page5158
zipfile of list292
new jokes263
Humorous science poetry8
Humorous science quote18
meaningless picture on main page4433

What conclusions can we draw from this? Chemistry is by far the most popular, followed by mathematics, pranks and physics. This is a far different order than the number of jokes, which is mathematics, physics and then chemistry with pranks far behind. In the mnemonics section the order is a bit different. Chemistry again on top, followed by biology. Physics and mathematics lie behind that. So mathematicians like to make jokes and chemists like to read them. And apparently lots of people like pranks. ;-)

Sections with general names have few hits - miscellany at the bottom, above that combined sciences and other sciences. Maybe I should make new sections for jokes from these sections.

Two of my favourite sections, "the mathematician, the physicist and the engineer" and the anecdotes are not much above that.

5% percent of the visitors downloads the zipfile to read the jokes offline or put them on their webpage (Yes, I noticed! ;-) and do not mind)

Also about 5% reads the new jokes, regular visitors I guess.

The picture entry is there to show that 14% of the visitors of this site uses a browser without pictures or with pictures off. Just a hint to site builders.


As a result of these measurements I created the new section Earth Sciences for geology and such and 25 new subsections for mathematics, physics, academic life and miscellany to make it easier to select a subject.

Selecting some Science Jokes

If you are only interested in some jokes, I can offer you some awk programs to select them. Of course, you can read only the section on your favourite subject, but there is another possibility. If you first download the collection you can use the following filter programs on it.

The awk-script select.awk selects the jokes on the categories in the first line of every entry to select for mathematics, physics, chemistry, biology or if you like engineering and computer science jokes, though the last two do not really fall into the scope of this collection.

The program newjoke.awk selects the new or changed jokes since the last time I posted the collection on the net. Those jokes are from the last two months.

Awk should be available on all unix-sites as awk, nawk or gawk. For the PC you can download a DOS version from the nearest Simtel-mirror. I personally use the Gnu version gawk.


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